Let's talk about the Platinum No.3 - this 5½" x44 corona from the Dominican Republic comes packed in boxes of 27, priced around $9.25 per stick. Wrapped in that oily Mexican San Andrés leaf, it's like smoking liquid dusk with enough nicotine punch to make your eyebrows sweat. Perfect for when you want to feel fancy but still need to mow the lawn afterward.
Cold draw tastes like licking a mahogany cabinet. Initial smoke punches with black pepper and burnt caramel - the kind that sticks to your molars. Retrohale reveals damp earth notes that make you question if they actually fermented these leaves in a coffee barrel.
Suddenly remembers it's supposed to be "platinum" class. Transitions to leather-bound library vibes with unexpected vanilla whispers. Ash holds tighter than my ex's grudges. Watch for canoeing if you puff faster than a hummingbird's heartbeat.
Nicotine hits like a Dominican taxi driver - sudden and slightly alarming. Dark chocolate bitterness emerges, but in that "I-paid-$10-for-this" sophisticated way. Stop before the nub unless you enjoy tongue numbness that rivals dentist visits.
The San Andrés wrapper glistens like motor oil under gas station lights. Construction's tighter than airport security - barely needs a cutter. While not quite reaching "special occasion" status, it's that reliable Wednesday night smoke when you want to pretend you're Don Draper. Just keep some sugar handy for the nicotine spins.
